My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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