Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
