I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
