u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
