omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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