My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
