oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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