You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
