That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
They took my balls.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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