dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
