I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
