I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
