I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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