just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
