Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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