I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
