doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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