Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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