is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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