we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
