no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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