she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Randomize
