apparently the secret to your success is patron
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize