Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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