yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
