i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
