i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
