there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
