You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
