I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize