the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
