I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
