i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
