question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize