do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
