The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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