I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
