bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
