Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The feeling are messing with the penis
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
