ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
