chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
