She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
