Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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