Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize