somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
