No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
