Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
