Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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