I think I am morally bankrupt
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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