HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
