im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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