She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
