# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
