The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
