sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
