your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you guys were way drunker than both of me
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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