He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
