I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
