I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
vagina is talking i cant
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
