i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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