try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
