I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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