ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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