Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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