Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
